Should I stay or should I go?
Updated: Mar 14, 2021
Expat bite size inspiration Vol. 2
How do I survive abroad? I had an expat in Denmark ask me this question the other day. And it got me thinking... Why would anyone strive to only survive? Why would someone want to “survive” abroad rather than thrive, flourish, live life to the fullest? "Life can be very hard here", she added. If it’s about survival, why bother? Why stay abroad if you’re just getting by?
Sometimes we move abroad to run away from people, problems, responsibilities, fears, mindset blocks. We have unreasonable expectations of the new place and think it will fix everything for us.
"I'll stay because I don’t want to give up and feel like a failure", she explained. So is staying and "surviving" a better option? Maybe there’s another option altogether? I’m all about options. It’s rarely this or that, black or white, A or B. What can she do to move from surviving to managing to enjoying to thriving?
Why am I here in the first place?
Sometimes we move abroad to run away from people, problems, responsibilities, fears, mindset blocks. We tend to have unreasonable expectations of the new place and think it will fix everything for us.
The first step, perhaps not the easiest one, would be to ask: why am I here in the first place? What motivated me to move here? What exactly is hard about life here and what have I done to change it? What do I absolutely love about living here? How do I actually feel about living here? Who have I become over the period of living here? What became available to me and what is no longer within reach?
Then being completely honest with oneself, can I enjoy this place? Have I made an effort? Can I see myself living here in the near and distant future? And finally, what are my ingredients of success and happiness and how can I find them here?
Having done this analysis and some reflecting, you will be able to know immediately if you’re in the wrong place and you’re just forcing yourself to stay out of fear. We think we must move abroad, we should move abroad, we want to move abroad, it’d be great to move abroad and likewise we can, must, should move back or move on if we’re miserable in that place.
Before we do so, however, let’s make sure that we’re not holding the country responsible for our misery. Because if we felt unhappy in our home country, the root cause is somewhere deeper and must be explored. It might well be that the new country resulted to be a bad fit for us and if so, it’s okay to acknowledge it with no regret or reproach.
Take action and set yourself up for success so that you thrive. Managing is not an option, let alone surviving. The price of not doing anything is way too high. Dare to thrive and book your Discovery Session today: http://www.lucynabolin.com/bookings-checkout/discovery-session-2/book